Once upon a time, I freaked out about dating. I was that Christian single girl who jumped on the bandwagon of kissing dating goodbye- except of course for dating Jesus. I bought into the lie that instead of actually DEALING with my fear of failure, or my fear of making mistakes, I could just sit back and do nothing, and pray that God would magically bring me a spouse. Interacting with the opposite sex became this pressure-filled, awkward, sinful-feeling give and take that left me feeling confused, impatient, and totally lacking control.
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Eventually, I got into a relationship with a man who pursued me. But my immature mentality left no room for error, so I ended up staying in the relationship far longer than I should have—which caused heartbreak and a whole lot of wasted time. Dating can be daunting for Christians. Sometimes, rather than trying to navigate through the world of dating in a healthy way, we either avoid it or continue to do it in an unhealthy way. But the truth is, God never intended us to live in fear, but rather in faith. Not only that, but in this world, God has given us all the wisdom we need to live by faith. Wisdom and faith always go hand in hand.
Fear of Intimacy: Signs, Causes, and Coping Strategies
There are all kinds of advice out there about dating today, but a lot of it is about dating in the world rather than Christian dating. Christians need to have a different attitude toward dating. However, even among Christians, there are differences as to whether you should or should not date. Non-Christians have a different perspective on dating. Yet God has more in store for you than just jumping from one relationship to another.
I was at a comedy show in Soho recently, when my slightly too loud cackle attracted attention from the comedian. One thing led to another, and I ended up being teased affably about my love life as the audience laughed on. Mae Martin is a queer performer, after all. But any gay person who has experienced that niggle of anxiety before announcing their queerness will understand. My family and friends adore my girlfriend, and I no longer have personal qualms about my sexual identity.