The Frisky -- First thing one morning I got a text from one of my friends, the kind I get all too often: "Met my future husband last night! If I've learned one valuable thing from the dating whirligig I've been on for the last six years give or take six months here or there , it's that you must wait at least three months before getting excited about the long-term possibilities of a new person. The Frisky: 30 things every woman should quit doing by I don't want to sound cynical or jaded. I totally believe in love for myself and my friends, but what I believe in more is that it takes a really long time to get to know someone and it's a complicated process.
Basically, how long is too long to be unofficial? Love has no time limit. Because I know women and men are different when it comes to…well just about everything, I asked three guys how long it usually takes for them to decide if they want a commitment. Surprisingly, their answers were similar to mine. They all agreed that if they are consistently keyword: consistently , dating someone for about six to eight months, that next step should be coming soon. If not, there is usually a problem. Whatever the reason, one thing was clear: we were not going to be together.
I repeatedly tell my clients that the first 3 months of dating a man are critical. Learn the 6 Steps to Attracting Your Soulmate in my free guide [click here to download]. Critical, because this is the time period during which rapid attraction building is taking place and where the man is essentially making up his mind about you and if he wants a future with you.
Meeting your lover is only the first stage of dating. Do you know what stage you're in after dating for a month? What about 4 months of dating? When you recognize what stage of dating your relationship is in, you'll understand what is called for or needed in order to move through that stage toward a healthy committed relationship. The purpose of stage one is to determine if there is enough chemistry, commonality, and interest to warrant dating.